Content warning: This post makes mention of sexual violence but does not discuss the topic at length or in detail.  

With only a couple of months to go before Orientation 2022, the start of your university life is on the horizon! You might be feeling excited, anxious, or freaked out about this new start, and with it, the possibility of new sexual experiences. While it’s true that university can be an exciting time for people to explore their sexualities and their sexual desires, it doesn’t have to be! This should go without saying, but having sex or not having sex, or having sex with lots of different people versus just one person, does not reflect your worth even in the slightest bit. All that matters is that you have the enthusiastic consent of everyone involved, you’re being safe, and you’re enjoying yourself! Here are some best practices to make sure your sexual experiences in university are as safe and enjoyable as possible!  

The absolute number one rule to remember, the holy grail, the only thing that’s essential for sex, is consent! I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but let’s quickly cover the five basic things to understand about consent: it’s freely given, ongoing, informed, specific and ENTHUSIASTIC!  

Consent is freely given, so if you feel coerced, pressured, manipulated, or you’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you can’t give consent. You definitely cannot give consent if you’re sleeping or unconscious. Consent is ongoing, meaning you can change your mind at any time, for any reason, about what you want to do. Never, during any sexual interaction, do you ever lose the right to say no! Consent has to be informed. You can only give consent if you have the full story. For instance, if someone tells you they will wear a condom, and they don’t, that’s a violation of your consent. Consent is specific. Saying yes to one thing, like making out, or going into a room alone with someone, doesn’t mean you’ve said yes to anything else, like having sex. And lastly, my favorite one, consent is enthusiastic! When it comes to sex, you shouldn’t do something because you feel like you have to, or you’re expected to, or you’re just okay with it. You should only do the stuff you really WANT to do!*  

Enthusiastic consent is the backbone of any sexual encounter, but not the only important element of safe, healthy sex! To protect yourself from STIs, it’s a good idea to get tested before every new sexual partner and use a physical barrier like a condom or dental dam during sex. If you’re living in residence, your Residence Assistant will have plenty to go around. If someone tries to give you the excuse that they’re “too big” for a condom, tell them they’re acting like a spoiled four-year-old and no, they’re definitely not. Also, trying to convince someone not to use a condom by saying it has sex less enjoyable is immature. Sex is enjoyable when you don’t need to worry about getting an STI or pregnant.  

Lube is also a great tool to make sex more comfortable! And, not to sound like an after-school special, but if you can get pregnant and are sexually active or planning to become sexually active with penis-vagina penetrative sex, set up an appointment with your doctor to decide what birth control is right for you. (Remember, it’s always good to double up with birth control and a physical barrier!) 

You can access many of these sexual health services at the campus wellness center located in the Wallace McCain Student Center. Email wellness@mta.ca to set up an appointment to get tested (most treatments are also available on campus!), pick up supplies, or talk to a nurse or doctor about getting a prescription for birth control.  

Also, emergency contraception (PlanB) is available over the counter at the Jean Coutu and Guardian right here in Sackville. There are no age restrictions on it and it’s safe. It’s effective in a pinch and the sooner you take it the better!  

These are just a couple of things to keep in mind to help you have positive, healthy, and safe sexual experiences at university. Remember, human sexuality is diverse. As long as there is enthusiastic consent from everyone involved, there’s no right or wrong way to have sex (or not have sex!).  

*If someone forces you to do something you don’t want to, or does something to you without your consent, remember it is NEVER your fault. No matter what you were wearing, no matter if you were drinking or using drugs, no matter what your relationship is, no matter if you’ve had sex before, no matter if you said you wanted to earlier. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, either recently or in the past, the university offers free and confidential counselling services. If you want to disclose an assault, you are never required to make a formal report to the university or the police, but you will be supported throughout the process if you chose to do so. If you’re living on campus, you can reach out to your Residence Assistant to learn more, or visit Mount Allison's "Support after experiencing sexual violence" webpage.